The first fight

Today at school, something happened. Darren and Darius fought. They were at the gym and I was supposed to meet Darius outside the big gymnasium. He was not there so I decided to looked around. Suddenly I heard voices arguing. It was Darren and Darius. They were arguing about something. I hid behind the door. Coach Williams were giving instructions to the basketball team and he didn't notice them. I leaned closer and I could hear Darren's voice. " You better tell her the truth Darius," he said to his brother. "I can't and I won't. Let time be the judge of things. I like her Darren. I never like anyone before. She's different,"Darius said while looking at his team."I better go or Coach Williams will notice that I'm gone."Darius was about to go to his team when Darren stopped him."Wait, if you can't do it, I will." Darius looked at his brother. If looks could kill, Darren would be dead on the spot. "Mind your own business Darren. Don't meddle with mine."he said walking away from his twin brother. Darren was quick. He grabbed Darius' arm and twist it around. Darius was astounded but he was quick too and it all happened so fast. I could see Darius kicked his brother's side to free his arms. And they started to fight. Coach Williams with the rest of the team tried to stop them. They managed to break them up. I quickly ran from there before Coach Williams took the twins to the principal's office. I walked home with mix feelings. I wish I knew what they were talking about. Is "she" me? Just now, I tried to call Darius but he didn't pick up. He was probably grounded. Maybe I'll ask him tomorrow. Maybe.

Obsess

It is every girls dream of being swept off their feet by a prince charming. I never really understood that until now. I was swept away by him. I am so in love right now. I'm pretty sure its love. After my visit to the Coltrane's house, I became obsess with Darius. Well don't get me wrong, I am not obsess to the point of being a stalker but I can't stop looking at him and can't stop thinking about him. He is so charming and so warm. But the only problem is Darren. Whenever Darius and I are alone, he always appear from thin air. One moment there's only two of us and in a blink of an eye, there's three. I don't really get him. He is so quiet and so cold. And he wont leave us alone. Ever. It seems to me that he's being obsess with his twin brother's relationship with me.

Love is in the air...is it?

After the first visit, I became a frequent visitor of the Coltrane's house. Darius was getting better each day. And we were getting closer too. I'm not sure if this is love or infatuation or just simply desire. The thing is, I can't stay away from him. When I got home that night, I dreamed the strangest dream. I dreamed about my family. I dreamed about mom, dad, Jessie and Caitlin. We were having dinner at home like always, Jessie and Calleigh argued about almost everything. Mom and dad trying to get Caitlin to eat and I was there, watching them with Darius by my side. Darius holding my hand. It was strange but the feeling was a good feeling. I felt the warmth of Darius's hand and it made me forget the pain...

Mad?Crazy?or just plain stupid...

Things happened on their own accord and we as human beings are responsible to put it right again. Darius didn't come to school from Tuesday till Friday. I don't have the guts to ask Darren as he is always so serious and seems unfriendly. Call it crazy...call it mad but today I went to his house. After school I walked up to his house and started to knock when out of nowhere Mrs. Coltrane appeared. "Hi there, Arianna. What brings you here sweetheart?", she asked looking at me while wiping her hands on her apron. "Is Darius home? Is he alright?", I asked trying to look past her shoulder at the interior of the house. I could see a huge grandfather clock and also some very old furnitures. "He's a little under the weather but he's recuperating", she smiled and waved her hand to something or someone behind me. I turned around and saw Darren parked his pick up truck under the tree. He walked towards the house looking solemn as ever. "Darren, Arianna came asking how's your brother. Isn't that sweet of her," she said grabbing the paper bag from his son's hand. I was so embarrassed and looked down. "Come on in Arianna. Make yourself at home, " Mrs. Coltrane said gesturing me to come with her. I walked inside following her to what I assume as the kitchen. The house is so clean and warm. I could smell a fresh baked bread and another smell. The same smell that lingers and triggers something in my mind. I pushed that aside and started to look around. Just a normal looking house. What do you expect Ari? Well, I dont know what do I expect I would find here. Mrs. Coltrane put the paper bags on the kitchen counter. The kitchen smells great. The same smell. My thoughts were interupted by a loud sound upstairs. I looked at Mrs. Coltrane and I could see her frowned. "Darren, can you go and see to your brother", she called out to Darren. "Already on it mom,"Darren replied rushing up the stairs. I could hear his footsteps on the old floorboards. I could also hear a grunting and laughter not long after that. "Arianna," I jumped in shock. I saw Mrs. Coltrane smiled at me. "Don't worry Arianna, Darius is fine. He fell from the roof last week while repairing the roof with his father. He had to skip school until the summer,"she said while unpacking the paper bags. "Oh, Ok. Well, Mrs. Coltrane I better head back home. Its getting late, " I said still trying to listen for more. "Don't you want to see Darius? He'll be thrilled. Just go up the stairs and his room is the second one on the left. By the way Arianna, just call me Maureen," Mrs. Coltrane said smiling warmly at me. I was so sceptical about coming here and here she was asking me to go up to his son's room like I know them for ages. But on a second thought, "Well, just a quick hi then," I said. I walked up the stairs slowly. As I was about to knock on the second door, I could hear Darren's voice. "Its your girlfriend, Darius, " Is he refering to me? The door opened and there I was face to face with Darren. Not a single smile. He walked out of the room and left me at the door. "Hi Ari," I saw Darius on the bed looking more pale than ever. He looked alright to me except for his leg which was in cast. I walked towards him and said hi. I sat on the chair near his bed. "How are you?" I asked. "Well, just now I was not so fine but I feel better now. Thanks for coming Ari," he said smiling weakly. I could see dark shadows under his eyes and the veins on his face more visible. I looked away when I realised that was not appropriate at all. You know, too stare at people. " Well, I just want to know why you didnt come to school. I better go now. You need your rest,"I said and was half standing when Darius touched my hand and said,"No, please wait. Stay for a while." I was taken aback with the touch. His hand was so warm. he quickly withdrawn and apologized. But that made me sat back on the chair. "Its okay. I can stay for a little while." I smiled at him and we chatted for about an hour. That whole hour I got to know a little bit more about him. I didn't realized the time until Maureen came to the room and said that my aunt was downstairs waiting for me. Maureen called my aunt and told her I was at their house. She was afraid my aunt would worry about me. I said goodbye to Darius and he made me promise him that I'll visit again which I was just too happy to comply. Well, is it mad?crazy?or just plain stupid? It was actually great, blissful and just plain exciting.

Ridiculous

It was so ridiculous. After Maureen and Darius visit, I could not stop thinking about them, the Coltrane's family especially Darius. He is so uniquely beautiful and surprisingly friendly. He talked to me! I rarely saw him talked at school and there he was talking to me at my house. I never liked someone this much but I do like him. Not the lovey dovey way but a different way. I couldn't put a name to it. I just like him. Today I went to school as usual. Darius saw me and waved with Darren besides him looking so serious. I waved back and smiled a bit too broad I think. Lucille catched up with me and asked what was that about. I just shrugged and said nothing. We walked to class in silence. I dont know why but I just dont feel like talking about the Coltrane's visit. At the pool today, Kelly said that Darius stared at me a lot. It makes me nervous. It was worse than the mere sight of the pool that used to make me ill at ease. I really didn't need the staring right now. Luckily, I would not have to swim yet as my right leg was still in cast. From the corner of my eyes, I could see him and Darren getting ready to jump from the 10ft board. Their jumped were perfect. As always, they excel in everything they do.

New friends...new enemies

Its been a week since I came back to school. A week full of surprises and anticipation. It turned out that the new family moved just a few blocks from my house. The empty unoccupied house at the end of the road was a bit derelict and needed a lot of repair. I saw a man last two days fixing the roof with the twins. Before I forgot, Darren and Darius Coltrane, the twins...the half albino twins were the new students in my class that Kelly talked about the first day I came to school. The one she said was weird. Well, they're not that weird. I've seen weirder people before. They were weird by this town standard I guess. They're so pale and have the blackest hair I have ever seen. Mickey said that they're half gypsy and their mother is an albino. That might be true. I saw a pale blond woman in front of the house at the end of the road last Tuesday. She is so pale that I could see the veins on her face. She looked at me and smiled. A dazzling smile. I smiled back and waved at her. I think she is the mother. I told Aunt Lily about the new family and she said she knows them. David Coltrane and Maureen Coltrane went to school here but they left or eloped more like it when they were 17. David is part gypsy and Maureen is an albino. So the rumor was true. She said that David was the town black sheep, lived in a trailer with his mother, worked part time at Jim's Bar and risked his life doing stunts at the carnival while Maureen was a very shy kid. The pair was the most unlikely pair ever but a tragedy brought them together. Aunt Lily said that she didn't know what really happened but David saved Maureen from her own father. The twins are a mystery to me. They kept to themselves most of the time. They didnt talk much but they are a very bright student. They know everything from history to arts. Miss Adams,my History teacher adores them. They are not bad looking either. Well, I never have the chance to talk to them anyway. I'm just an observer, until yesterday. I went to the mall with Lucille and Kelly yesterday morning. When I got back home an old pick up truck was parked near the patio. I saw Aunt Lily talking to Maureen Coltrane. I walked towards them passed the truck when I let out a yelp. Darius was leaning on the truck and I didnt see him.
He smiled, "Sorry, did I scare you?" I was still shocked, "No...no...I'm..I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something and didnt expect to see you...sorry."He is so handsome...eerily handsome with his black hair and black piercing eyes. He just laughed," Yeah, I can be invisible sometimes. You are Ariana right?"he asked still looking at me. "Yes, I am . We're in the same class", I tried not to stare at him like some pathetic schoolgirl. "I know," he said turning his gaze towards my house. "My mom wants to see your aunt. They knew each other from school. The same school we are now." I looked at him closely. He is pale and has the most beautiful skin. I felt like touching it. It must be soft. He turned towards me. I quickly looked at the patio where my aunt were talking excitedly to his mother. "Why don't you come to the house?" I invited him. "No, thanks. I like it more here. Besides they're almost finished,"and it was true. My aunt were walking towards us with Darius's mother. "Hi there Ariana. You looked just like your mother,"Maureen said extending her hand towards me. I took her hand. It was so smooth and soft. "You know my mother?" I asked still awe with the smoothness of her hands. "Of course. We were in the same class. Just like you and my boys. I'm sorry to hear about her,Ariana," she said looking at me with sympathy in her eyes and still holding my hand. "Its okay." I replied feeling some kind of comfort and warmth. She let go of my hand and I suddenly felt that I lost something precious. That was strange. "Lily, do come and visit if you have time to spare and dont forget to bring Ariana along." Maureen said while getting in the pick up truck. " Of course Maureen, I will," We waved at them. That evening during dinner Aunt Lily told me about why Maureen came. She came by asking about my mother and was shocked when being told about the accident. Well, she was not the only one.

Back from the other side...part 2

I went to school today. All geared up for the next couple of weeks before the summer holidays. Aunt Lily told me that I could just stay at home for the rest of the weeks but I was so bored being bedridden that I needed to just get out of here. My friends at school were not shocked to see me in cast. Most of them came to visit me during my absence. I walked to my first class with Kelly whom busy gossiping about what happened in school. After my accident a new family moved to town. She said that they are a bit weird. Whatever it is I'm not interested. Well...that was what I thought at first...

Sickness of the world

I'm sick of being here. Sick of being needed. Sick of being the one who always care...the one who always remember...the one who always there...the one who is strong and always be the shoulder to cry on...i'm just so tired...so tired of being independent...tired of all this nonsense...now I know how Rosalie felt...the day she committed suicide...

Back from the other side...part 1

All I want is to be happy. Live in a world surrounded by the warmth and kindness of the people that I love. I just woke up from the never ending nightmare. I was in coma for five weeks. I remember being hit. I remember the pain. I remember everything. The fear, the agony, the loss...everything.

The Unexpected

Wow...what a week that was. Last week Aunt Lily's reunion did not go as expected. They did go looking absolutely gorgeous. Aunt Lily especially. She looked so radiant and stunning in the little black dress that she bought. She was eager to meet Jack. Well, they did meet him but he brought along a beautiful and sexy lady that turns up to be his wife. That was just the beginning, the lady was one of their school mates that they despised so much during their school days. Aunt Lily came home drunk. I never saw her looking that terrible not even at the funeral. Luckily her friends were there to stop her humiliating herself. Its good to have good friends around when we are sad and depressed. Myra said that Aunt Lily will be fine in the morning. The next morning she woke up with a huge headache and I was not to disturb her the whole day. I was relieved that Myra and Kate stayed until Monday. I would never know what to do.

Thank God its Friday

This week had gone by rather smooth and conflict free at school and surprisingly at home too. Aunt Lily brought home few of her friends last night. They chatted all night,giggled like a bunch of school girls,being silly and gossips about their old classmates. They have an event this Saturday at my school. Yes, Aunt Lily went to the same school I go now. Myra, one of Aunt Lily's friend said that she can't wait to go to school tomorrow and meet up with their old friends. They were so curious about this guy name Jack Cooper. I wonder who is he but after a while listening to them I came to a conclusion that this Jack was Aunt Lily's old flame. She was blushing every time they mentioned his name. I always wondered why Aunt Lily never got married. Maybe because of this Jack Cooper. He must be something. My dear Aunt Lily is not what you can categorize as beautiful but she is smart and has beautiful green eyes. The greenest eyes I have ever seen. She is petite and I am taller than her. She has nice long dark hair that she always tied into a granny-like-bun that makes her look old. I am at the mall right now, with my aunt and her friends, Myra, Kate, Alicia and Debbie. They were trying out outfits since this afternoon. They wanted to look gorgeous, sexy and envied by their old friends. Well, I just watched and nodded in agreement to what they said. Finally after a lots of "oh, you look nice in that" and "I look fat"they managed to get everything and now we are at Jim's Grill and Bar. I am now sitting down in this cosy place while blogging using my phone. I love it here. The smell is very welcoming. Its like going home after a long day. Thank God its Friday...

A peaceful mind..

Yesterday, I've been busy with classes and homeworks. I never thought that I would have so much work to do. But some of it I've covered in my old school so that would never be an issue. I have chosen to study Arts here. This afternoon will be my first class. I'm at the school cafeteria, blogging from my mobile. Millie, one of my friends said that Mr. Thornton is a very good art teacher and said that I would definitely enjoy his classes. Well, we'll see about that. I never had the chance to show my talent before maybe this would be the perfect place. So something could turn up good after all for me. Lat night, I overheard Aunt Lily talking to someone about me. She said that I am coping well with all the changes and that she is happy with my ability to cope. Well, I never imagined anything disastrous could happen to me and my family but it was meant to be. I didn't know where did I pluck the courage to go through all these but I managed somehow. I always do. Now that Aunt Lily had accept that I've moved on, I will now have my own peaceful state of mind.

First day all over again...

I'm at my new school. Using my mobile to blog. Not bad for a first day even when I sorely miss all my old friends. I tried not to be skeptical of things over here. So far I make few friends in my Literature class. They were nice enough to show me all the classes, the gym and also the big hall. It is not a big school but enough to make me feel edgy especially when they showed me the gym. It is big for a school this small. They have a swimming pool here and it is compulsory for everyone to take up swimming class. This makes me more agitated. Mickey, my new friend said that if I don't feel like it, I should just lie and tell them that I have a heart condition. Well, I think I will consider that. Aunt Lily won't approve it, I'm sure. On Saturday night I had a fight with Calleigh but before she went home I ask her to forgive me for my terrible bluntness. I know a part of it was my fault. I was so pigheaded and heartless sometimes. I wish that she would understand as it was hard not only for her but for me too. I just had other ways to mourn. I just wish that they would just let it go. I'll deal with it as I see fit.

Sweet Surprise

My sister Calleigh and her husband Ian are coming to visit this weekend. She called just now and told me that they will spend the entire weekend with me. Aunt Lily is going to run some errands at our old place so she thought that it will be a good time for me to spend some time with my sister. I guess she hopes that Calleigh will have that talk with me about what happened. We'll see about that. They will arrive this evening. I can't wait to see Calleigh and her big belly. I'm going to get twins nephews, she told me over the phone. I am so happy for her. Albeit all this sadness, something good and joyful will eventually shine through.

The days of thunder

Aunt Lily's car was fixed yesterday. But it still sound a bit thunderous whenever she started it. She went to work with red puffy eyes today. I heard her cried again last night as I crept slowly to the kitchen. I wonder when will she stopped. And I knew that she wonder when will I start. From that day I didn't say anything. Calleigh said that I was like a zombie, no emotion and that my eyes were empty. I tried so hard to cry. I really did but it didn't come to me. Not a single tears. I was like a broken soul that was beyond repair.

A whale...

It was a fairly good morning. I sat at the house's patio minding my own business listening to Radiohead while reading Half Blood Prince for the tenth time. I do that a lot. Multitasking all the time when I saw in the distance a fairly huge man walking towards the house. I put down my iPod and stared at the giant. I know that it is rude to stare at people like that but he reminds me of someone that I know. I was close to a whale once. That was the nickname that my not-so-friendly friends called him. Thomas M. Grint was his real name and he was one of my good friends. This huge man reminds me of him and as he got nearer the resemblance was so striking. He said something to me but I just stared at him, more like gawking at him. It was the most embarrasing situation. He just smiled at me and it was the most amazing smile. He had beautiful dimples on both sides of his cheek.
"Hello there miss", he said still smiling.
"Hi", I managed to smile back.
"Is this the Ramsey's residence?"
"Yes," I wonder how he knew.
"Well, I'm here to check on your mom's car. Is she around?"he asked. Before I got the chance to answer him, Aunt Lily came out with grease on her hands.
"Hi, you must be Jimmy right? From Big Jim Auto?"Aunt Lily asked looking rather annoyed.
"Yes maam, I am,"he confirmed.
"You are late. But never mind, the car is at the back. Come on." Aunt Lily said while gesturing Jimmy to follow her. I just sat there watched them walked to the garage at the back of the house. Suddenly I miss Tom. Maybe I will call him tonight. Maybe.

The moved...

My aunt and I are now agreeing to my terms of silence. Next week I will start at the new school. The thing that I dread the most. Make new friends were never my specialty. I was always the one who last to know about everything and sometimes know nothing at all. I realized what Aunt Lily had to sacrifice for me. Moved to a new place and all. I will try my level best not to be cynical and I hope that she would stop being so dramatic. Yesterday we went shopping for my new clothes and again we were silent all the way to town. She told me to shop for my own clothes because she didn't want to interfere with my taste of fashion. I bought a couple of shirts and two pairs of jeans. We went home after a dinner at Gloria's.

First day of wreckage.

I was there alone in the middle of the room. Boxes were piled up at the door. I could hear a faint sound of children running around downstairs. The new tenants I guess. I looked out the window of my bedroom. This week gone so fast that I could not even absorb all the things that happened. Everything was so hazy. I heard a knock on my door. It was my aunt. She said that the movers were ready to take my things. I watched silently as they took all my precious possessions to the truck.